BOUND and Determined.

So, it's Monday morning.  I've always hated Mondays, and probably will continue to for a very long time.  But, at least it's snowing outside.  It makes the cold worthwhile...

I have been spending the past couple of months preparing graduate school applications and a portfolio, in hopes of continuing my musical education in composition and theory.  I have been spending the past year worrying about this.  I have applied online to four different institutions, all of which offer exceptional and HIGHLY competitive programs of study.

This alone took 3 full days.

The concept of "doing it online" fascinates me:  "Make it easier - APPLY ONLINE!", "Shop with us ONLINE and never leave your house!", "Bank ONLINE!," Date ONLINE!", "Order pan-pizza ONLINE!"  Everywhere you look, it seems someone's trying to convince you how much time and energy you can supposedly save by logging on to the world wide web.  People automatically assume this makes it easier.  For those of us against whom all technology has a personal vendetta, this is HELL.  ON.  EARTH.  Documents won't upload.  Pages won't open.  Credit card payments won't go through.  Any number of problems could arise within an online application, and, in my case, they did.  Despite the predictable mishaps, I managed through everything on the "online" side of things.

I thought the "tangible" side would be easier.  It's a pity I was wrong.

I am required to send 3-6 scores of varying instrumentation, length, and ensemble which display, as they put it, an "advanced compositional style."  I don't know what that really means.  John Cage wrote a piece composed entirely of silence and is regarded as one of the most important "conceptualists" of twentieth-century music.  I wish I had thought of that.

After spending countless, tedious hours putting several compositions onto the music notation software FINALE last week, I was finally ready to print absolutely everything by Friday.  YES! I went to the music school with my USB-port in tow.  What should have been a simple, 15-minute task turned into a 2-hour splitting headache.  I didn't have an account number/website under which to print (I still don't know what that means), so my Swedish friend Emelie offered to help me, but it turns out she really didn't know how, so we went to ask Bodil, the music secretary.  She didn't know.  Ask Anders?  Nope, not him, either.  Then Emelie had to leave, but she asked a guy in the computer lab named Peter to help me.  After trying in vain to access my own "account", Peter offered to let me print my documents off of HIS account.  I would pay him for the amount of copies made - Perfect.  As luck would have it, his account ran out of money before I was halfway through.  He put more money on it ONLINE.  I had to start over again.  Then the printer froze.  I tried emailing all the documents to Bodil.  And then again to Leif, one of the department heads.  We waited, but they never came through, or perhaps they did today.

I finally took my USB-port to Leif's computer and printed them directly.  It was my original intent to inquire about getting my scores bound at a place on campus called "Repro," but by that time, it was 3:45, and they had closed.  Nice.

Which brings me to today.  I awoke bright and early at 6:55 this morning in order to get ready and get to Repro right after they opened.  Let me also mention that when told, "Repro can do that for you on campus," I naively assumed this was a free service or one that could be obtained for a moderately priced fee.  I had 5 scores, each of which needed to be copied (double-sided) FOUR times and then bound.  After explaining to the people at Repro what I needed done, they looked at me as if I was asking for an ass-waxing and a first-class ticket to "Oh, nowhere in particular."  In rapid Swedish, the three workers started discussing the request.  I could imagine the conversation went something like, "It's 8:00 AM and this asshole wants us to do WHAT?!"  "Who does he think he is with his music and his...music...?!"  "I need a coffee break!"  

The plump, older Swede peered over her glasses and I definitely understood her to say to her co-workers, "...it's too much."  The youngest of the three, who looked to be around my age, was gracious, and told me that normally binding takes 5 days.  FIVE DAYS?!  I looked at the 1 bound score of mine laying on the counter that I'd brought from the States and recalled the entire 'spiral-bound' process at FedEx-Kinko's taking all of two minutes, if that.  I was flabbergasted, but he obviously saw the urgency in my expression, and offered to have it done later today.  Ok, so, not at all what I expected, but I was gracious for him taking the time to do it at such short notice.  I felt better.  That is, until I was quoted the cost.  Over 1,000 Swedish crowns (SEK) for this little job.  For perspective's sake, that's about 100 euro, or $126 U.S. dollars.  EACH individual metal spiral costs 30 Swedish crowns, and there are almost twenty of them used for a single binding.  That's what I was told.  I've since calculated this, and the cost should really be more.  Go figure.  All I know is that this is a practical CRIME and the fact that you could buy a plane ticket or 7 or 8 bottles of vodka (not cheap, mind you) for less than what it costs to copy and bind 5 music scores is disgraceful. The guy then told me I could have a "paper binding" wherein a thick strip of paper is glued to the clear plastic covers.  This allowed me to come out about 200 crowns cheaper, so naturally I went with it.

I'm mailing all this crap later today, and though I don't know the exact total cost yet, postage + weight + oversized envelope + rush shipping fees + 4 parcels is probably going to kill me.

All of this work, all of this money, all of this time, all of this dedication and perseverance.  And for what?  Merely the HOPE and PRAYER that at least one of these schools will find me to be a worthy applicant.  Either way, it's a perk for them just to get the non-refundable $100.00 application fee from me.

Everything must be received by the schools on December 1.  As God as my witness, "I'll always go hungry again" (thanks to these debilitating costs), but these portfolios WILL arrive at their destination in time.

...And that's the last leg.  Wow.  I did it.  You can't really imagine the valor or the struggle of it all, but that's ok.  Just tell me you love me, you're proud of me, and know that I am out of the fire now.

...and into the snow!